Diggerjohn

- Diggerjohn was born somewhere in the wilds of Canada in the 13rd century B.C.

- Diggerjohn is an historian and former archaeology field worker, but also worked as a bouncer, deli clerk, barista, editor and platypus breeder (he still owns the "special gloves").

- Diggerjohn is known for his love of the Civilization games, Goat Simulator and Minecraft, but he is best known for once dating all of the female survivors of the Donner Party at the same time. He would frequently have group barbecues with them.

- Diggerjohn is remarkably old, he once punched Gilgamesh in the face for stealing his chariot.

- In the early 1600's Diggerjohn told the King of Siam to move the entire country "a little to the right", causing massive flooding and the deaths of thousands. He quickly returned to Canada.

- Diggerjohn has been known to chain smoke cigars, and gets annual Christmas cards from Fidel Castro saying, "Thanks for the economic boost, Senor!"

- Diggerjohn is a big fan of Retirement Home Shuffleboard, but claims just to watch the game for the crashes.

- Diggerjohn invented Latin.